Loss. Death. Tragedy. Most people are familiar with these words and do not connect them to happy thoughts. Chances are, someone you know has passed away. It’s rough. It’s tough. Sometimes it can be downright torture. You continue to see their bright smile or hear their sweet voice ringing in the back of your mind. But it’s not all bad. You must be thinking, “Benefitting from experiencing a loss? She’s insane.” Okay, I might be just a little bit. But hear me out.
Two words: motivated & dedicated.
“The only cure for grief is action.”
– G.H. Lewes
Have you ever excelled in something so much as you have after realizing life is too short to be a slacker? Chances are, your answer is no. It usually ends up being even more special if it’s something your late loved one enjoyed, supported, or at the very least, knew about. You might feel compelled to make a serious attempt at work, school or one of your relationships with someone.
You can immensely better your life after the grieving stage is over by going out and just straight up conquering the world.
You are as strong as your worst memory.
Think about the girl with the perfect body and a life you could only ever dream about handed to her on a silver platter. Think about how her family is happy and functional and loving; how her parents are still together; how she gets whatever she wants at the snap of her perfectly manicured finger.
Now think about how she would react if anything bad happened. The Yorkie pup that spends 6 hours a day in her Coach tote gets ran over. She’s a mess—doesn’t know what to do or how she can go on in life. Hell, even a broken nail could ruin her week.
You’re stronger than that. You can pick up the pieces when life throws fine china at the wall. You’ve endured things that Barbie can’t imagine in her worst nightmares. Car gets totaled? Hey, it’s all right—you’ve got insurance. You get fired from your job? Mom’s got a small business on the side; she’ll help you out for a few weeks. After losing a loved one, obstacles in life will forever seem miniscule.
You enable yourself to love deeper and stronger than ever before.
“It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.”
- Alfred Lord Tennyson
This hardly needs an explanation. You just feel more bound to give your heart to people. Loss opened so many doors for me—and I don’t mean that to sound morbid. I am so warm and caring, I truly want what’s best for the people in my life. My best friends, my parents, my fiancé, my brothers… They all know I would do anything at the drop of a dime for any one of them. And the secret to this is to never expect anything in return. When you dish out your open emotional embrace, people will naturally want to love you back. What’s that saying about catching flies with honey and not vinegar? Yeah. That.
I’m not saying it will be easy. I can’t even tell you if it will ever get any easier. My nephew’s third birthday is about a week and a half away. He passed away from LVNC when he was a day old. Every holiday season, it tears me apart. But I know my life is better having known such a beautifully blessed baby could be born into this crazy world— and I have the world’s best support system getting me through it. If you’ve lost somebody, (especially recently) my heart goes out to you. Keep doing everything you can to stay happy. It will help you indefinitely after this is all over. You don’t have to forget them, but always keep pushing.
“Loss is nothing else but change, and change is Nature’s delight”
- Marcus Aurelius