Humor, Life

The Niagara Falls That is Consistently Flowing From My Tear Ducts

Secondary title: Why I Should Really Learn to Man Up and Stop Crying Like a Little Bitch.

You might be offended by my use of the term man up, but in all honesty, I’m not the most politically correct person. When it comes to sexism I find it hard to be. If a guy starts whining about something retarded, I’m always going to refer to him as a little girl. And when I say man up, I mean it.

How often do you see a man crying his eyes out? Probably less frequently than you get a hair cut. And I used to think that it was because society says they can’t… I’m not so sure I buy that anymore. I think they just have a lot healthier ways of dealing with stress.

If you don’t know me already, one could say I’m a leaky faucet. When I’m sad, I cry. When I’m angry, I cry. When I’m stressed, I cry. When I’m overly tired… You get the point. Yesterday I cried at a YouTube video of a dog surfing with a quadriplegic. I actually have cried over literal spilled milk.

It used to make me feel like I was weak. Now it just makes me annoyed with myself. Like, life would be a lot easier to handle if my eyes weren’t too watery to see and I could breathe. But I can’t stop. Without fail, I just break into tears to the point of hyperventilation.

I wish I was different.

I feel like if I didn’t cry so much it might actually mean something more. I don’t want to be a man. I have no hate for women. I just think that our hormones are bullshit. No, I’m not PMSing asshole, I’m just a crybaby all the time thanks.

Just like… Eyeballs can you not? Can we strike some kind of deal?


One thought on “The Niagara Falls That is Consistently Flowing From My Tear Ducts

  1. Pingback: Reasons I Would Prefer To Be A Man | Rants & Red Lipstick

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