Humor, Life

The Niagara Falls That is Consistently Flowing From My Tear Ducts

Secondary title: Why I Should Really Learn to Man Up and Stop Crying Like a Little Bitch.

You might be offended by my use of the term man up, but in all honesty, I’m not the most politically correct person. When it comes to sexism I find it hard to be. If a guy starts whining about something retarded, I’m always going to refer to him as a little girl. And when I say man up, I mean it.

How often do you see a man crying his eyes out? Probably less frequently than you get a hair cut. And I used to think that it was because society says they can’t… I’m not so sure I buy that anymore. I think they just have a lot healthier ways of dealing with stress.

If you don’t know me already, one could say I’m a leaky faucet. When I’m sad, I cry. When I’m angry, I cry. When I’m stressed, I cry. When I’m overly tired… You get the point. Yesterday I cried at a YouTube video of a dog surfing with a quadriplegic. I actually have cried over literal spilled milk.

It used to make me feel like I was weak. Now it just makes me annoyed with myself. Like, life would be a lot easier to handle if my eyes weren’t too watery to see and I could breathe. But I can’t stop. Without fail, I just break into tears to the point of hyperventilation.

I wish I was different.

I feel like if I didn’t cry so much it might actually mean something more. I don’t want to be a man. I have no hate for women. I just think that our hormones are bullshit. No, I’m not PMSing asshole, I’m just a crybaby all the time thanks.

Just like… Eyeballs can you not? Can we strike some kind of deal?

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One thought on “The Niagara Falls That is Consistently Flowing From My Tear Ducts

  1. Pingback: Reasons I Would Prefer To Be A Man | Rants & Red Lipstick

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