With my wedding rapidly approaching (22 days until THE day, to be exact), I’ve been doing some self-reflecting. Being in a loving, committed relationship while preparing to pledge yourself to one person for the rest of your life can take a small toll on your psych. While undoubtedly ecstatic and happy to be marrying the man of my dreams in less than one month, I’ve noticed some things—about my fiancé, myself, and the world in general.
I am most definitely an extrovert.
I’ve always known I was a people person. My parents were also active duty military so we moved around a lot… It was really easy to make new friends no matter where we went. I’ve never had any issues public speaking and when a matter needs to be spoken about, you can expect to hear my voice. My fiancé is very certainly an introvert. He can handle and even enjoy time with people and also has no problem making friends; but when it comes down to it, he likes his me time. This has only made me realize even more that I am an open book. With a few exceptions, I keep very little secret. Maybe this is something I should work on? Maybe it’s just how I am, everyone is different—right?
I am a whole-hearted morning person.
Teenagers love waking up at the butt crack of dusk, am I right? There’s something that clicks in a person after turning the big 1-3 that makes them scour at the beautiful early sunlight. Sleeping in until after lunch had already been made was practically a right of passage. I was never like that. Even during the summers, I woke up on my own, no later than 10 o’clock—11 o’clock if I had stayed up ungodly late the night prior. Adjusting to sleeping (and waking up) with someone is always a chore. Which side of the bed do you like? How warm do you like your blankets? Do you cuddle in your sleep? Does music need to be playing or must it be completely silent? My fiancé and I have been on the same page for pretty much all of the textbook sleeping habits—for that I am thankful. However… I am an Energizer Bunny in the morning. I’ll rustle in my sleep when first awoken, but after that, there’s no turning back. If Emily’s up, he’s up. I feel pretty bad about this; mainly on the nights we stay up until midnight or 1am watching American Horror Story. Without fail, I’ll be awake at 8 o’clock and want attention. Poor Jason is still trying to catch some Zzz’s. This one I will definitely have to work on.
Weddings are a bunch of hokey pokey.
I’m going to get crap for this one—so much crap. In fact, my mom will probably give me an earful. Oh well. WHAT’S THE BIG FREAKING DEAL, PEOPLE?! All I care about is my dress, the food, and the man who is standing up there with me. There are so many minute details that I can’t even imagine giving two shits about. What color will the floating candle centerpieces be? How many blue marbles will be at the bottom of the bowl? What style knot should the bows on the back of the chairs be? The next day, nobody will remember noticing these things. Who the hell cares? I’ll tell you who cares—the wedding venues who make out like bandits because they can charge you $20 extra per person depending on what kind of silverware you pick out for the dinner. Don’t get me wrong, my Maggie Sottero wedding gown is to die for. The custom 3-course menu we created with the caterers is going to be a huge party in my mouth. But other than looking your most beautiful and eating the best food ever; as long as you’re doing it with the most perfect man for you on this entire planet, all of the other bullshit shouldn’t matter.
Big diamonds are overrated—and terrifying.
Who says my hubby has to buy me a 1 carat certified diamond ring that is princess cut and costs a quarter of my 1 year old car?! That’s ridiculous. Not to mention, a HUGE load of responsibility. I am clumsy and forgetful. I break things, hurt myself and lose track of the simplest thoughts. Thinking about being responsible for other human being’s lives in the future is scary enough, why would I want the daily burden of getting my hand robbed of three months’ salary? No thanks. I never really got into Pinterest, but I can imagine bitches be like “omg dream engagement ring” and the thing costs five grand. Who are you planning on marrying, darling? Daddy Warbucks’ great grandson? Good luck. I have a beautiful white sapphire bridal set that is completely affordable. This goes along with the hokey pokey point—remember the reasons you’re doing this whole thing. LOVE.
Last but definitely not least, I AM SO MADLY IN LOVE.
I try not to include such specific details about my personal life in my posts; I think that keeps them relatable. But if you’re engaged/newlywed/going on 50 years, you can agree and relate to this. It’s that can’t sleep, can’t breathe, can’t eat without them feeling. You start and end every day knowing that you have found that person to be your other half, your partner in crime, for the rest of eternity.
“When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.” Nora Ephron – When Harry Met Sally
Four months turned into a small number of days in the blink of an eye. That lady Nora knows her stuff, I couldn’t be more excited to start my life with such an incredible man. I spent a better portion of my life closing myself off from people, trying to convince everyone (including myself) that I didn’t need anyone to be happy– especially not a man. Finding the right person is scary, happy, confusing, beautiful and exciting all wrapped into one indescribable feeling. He teaches me new things about him, our love, the world, and myself every single day. I count my blessings and thank God for letting me love and be loved by such a wonderful person; and I plan on remembering just how special he is for the rest of my life.