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Six Months Ago

I was in the living room of my high school best friend, spending time with my Maid of Honor and her mother. It was late, rainy, and my feet were tired from breaking in my wedding shoes. The rehearsal dinner was filling, the coffee and dessert afterward was the perfect “Welcome Home” to Portland.

Six months ago was my last day under my maiden name, my last day before tying myself to my best friend for forever. I was nervous, excited and hopeful. We spent the whole night talking about you and I.

Nineteen months ago, we met. When I met you, I wasn’t planning to fall in love. I wasn’t even looking for a new best friend, but you changed all that. The attraction was electric and unexpected.

Here we are now with our future at our feet. Six months and yet it feels like an eternity. I can’t remember a time when I didn’t love you. There’s not a single place on this Earth other than in your arms that I would rather be. Families blended, friends were made and two lives have been joined. You make me want to be better, for myself and for you. Your voice can light up my whole heart and soul with one word. You are my peace of mind when I’m caught in a storm. You really are the half of me that is better.

We’re not perfect, and we both make mistakes. Sometimes I say the wrong thing, and sometimes you just don’t understand. But we’re silly, and always each others’ best friend. We continue to grow together and discover new things about one another. I can’t imagine a life without you and soon, these six months will be a year, and then that year will turn into twenty. I don’t know where we’ll end up or how life will go, but I’ll be by your side and you’ll be at mine.

Six months ago,

my life changed forever, for the better.

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Uncategorized

Something Old, Something New

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…you know how the rest of it goes.

A woman’s wedding is supposed to be the peak of her entire life. She finally found someone who wants to spend forever with her and her parents want to shell out the equivalent to a down payment on a house to make sure everyone and their brother knows about it. What’s the big deal? Aren’t a cute sundress and the courthouse all you really need to start the rest of your life with another human being? Apparently not. 

(This article is out of humor, and I appreciate every last detail my parents planned and paid for. They gave Jason and I a night that we will remember for the rest of our lives and we are eternally grateful. Love you guys.)

 

I mentioned some of these things before in my “What I’ve Learned After Getting Engaged” article, but after having experience them, I felt it necessary to repeat a few of them, and add in a few other wedding-tidbits.

Hair and Makeup Appointments = HASSLE 

I had a friend of my from high school do my bridal hair (shoutout to Whitney Nhor if you’re reading this girl, you rock) and my Maid of Honor came with me to get her’s done by another lady at the salon. First of all, I didn’t even know how I wanted my hair like a week before the wedding. I made my appointment five days prior to the big day and everyone kept calling me crazy. Originally, I wasn’t even going to pay someone to do it for me! Anyway… So I’ve mentioned before that I am a 90-year-old woman when it comes to Pinterest, right? Jason’s best friend Natalie (thankfully) showed me some of the ins and outs so I could find some good ideas that wouldn’t make me look like I was going to the 2002 Junior Prom. We decided on:

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And obviously, we got to the salon and my hair was not cooperating with the idea of a waterfall braid. I didn’t mind switching up the plan to make sure we had enough time, but Whitney was determined. My stubborn locks finally let her weave magic onto my head and it turned out GAW-JUSSSSS. Meanwhile, Trish (MOH) was sitting in the chair next to me and this old, Eastern-European woman was giving her an updo fit for the Queen of England—and I don’t mean expensive and elegant, I mean old looking and too put-together. My beautiful best friend had just been turned into a poodle. We all just laughed at the situation and she just accepted that it would fall out and look more natural over the course of the morning. Let’s back track a little bit—I forgot clothes for that morning. I stayed over at Trisha’s house after the rehearsal dinner and in my brain, I was wearing my wedding dress the next day so obviously I didn’t need clothes. Except for the 7 hours prior to the wedding that I had to be in public! She is about five inches shorter than me and a few sizes smaller, in clothes and shoes. We ended up finding a pair of yoga pants and a jacket (that I wore without a shirt under it) and a pair of flip flops that were 2 sizes too small. Fast forward back to the salon—Trisha’s hair was finished and poor Whitney was still trying to tame my unruly hair into a Pinterest-perfect “do”. I couldn’t bear to wear those sandals any longer so Trish sprinted to Old Navy and bought me a plain, white pair of their classic flip flops (my mom pointed out that this will be an awesome memory and I HAVE to keep them, so I did).

Thanks to my insane head of hair, we were a little behind schedule getting to Nordstrom’s for my makeup appointment with MAC. Of course, traffic had to be all backed up on the day of my wedding. I rush into the store and get a seat; where I wait for over half an hour before a drop of product even touches my face. The girl comes back and covers me in primer and then disappears, this time for nearly 20 minutes! WOMAN DO YOU UNDERSTAND I HAVE A WEDDING TO GET TO AND IT HAPPENS TO BE MINE?! I understand it was two days before Christmas but damn it, I had an appointment and kind of wanted to feel important. After whatever shenanigans she was getting into, she finally comes back and I show her what I had in mind:

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So her nimble little hands get to work and less than 20 minutes later she hands me a mirror and I see this:

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All right, I can dig it.

Before I know it, both of my soon-to-be sister in laws show up and are waiting on me. Little did we know, traffic was getting worse by the minute and we were still 10 miles away. We finally get to the venue (only 10 minutes late, no biggie) and my mom and grandma were awaiting us in the Bridal Suite with champagne. Blah blah blah, getting into my dress and shoes and jewelry and veil and that entire snow queen garb. The best part, however, was my grandma giving my great grandmother’s blue floral handkerchief to pin around the stem of my bouquet, it was beautiful.

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The preparation was stressful, the big day was exhausting, the reception was beautiful and full of my favorite people, but all I can say is that we were both happy for it to all be over and get the chance to enjoy some time at home together as husband and wife (still getting used to using those words). Take it from me when I tell you that nothing wedding-wise will ever turn out as planned but it won’t matter because the most important thing is that you’re creating a new lifetime with the coolest person in the world—and that’s that.

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Love

To you, for loving me.

You love me when I’m happy, when it’s easy. When I’m laughing so hard I can’t breathe or, dare I say it, I snort. When I’m cuddly and kissy and just want to be touched. When I’m joking and watching so-bad-its-funny horror movies with you and scratching your head, back or various other body parts.

You love me when I’m sad. Not just sad, but like… pathetically sobbing, feeling like I’ll never be okay again sad. When all I do is push you away. When I can’t see and my nose is running and I am just an all-around crabby little asshole. When I have no goddamn clue why I’m in hysterics, you love me anyway.

You love me when I’m feeling fat. When I pull and tag at every bit of chub and loose skin, as if pulling it tight will make it stay that way. When I can’t fit into my jeans, so I wear the same pair of sweatpants every day consecutively for like a week. When I have to try on everything in my closet and have a full-out temper tantrum because I don’t like my body or anything I own to cover it up. You love me when I’ve gained ten pounds, even though I might as well have gained 100 with the way I’m acting.

You love me when I try to lose 30 pounds. When I’m supposed to diet and you’re supposed to be “helping” me, but every time you open your mouth about it I get super offended and bite your friggin’ head off. You love me when I fail, and when I complain about the gym. You love me even though I’m intolerable when I’m hungry.

You love me when I get mad at you for making jokes about other girls. When I get so jealous that even I can’t stand myself. When I can’t take a joke, or freak out about you calling me a mean name in a totally 100% joking manner.

You love me when I’m crazy. Wedding crazy. Baby crazy. Puppy crazy. ALL the crazy. When I’ve spent the past two hours obsessing to you over something you don’t give a single crap about. When I makes plans for us that you want no part of, you go anyway.

You love me when I say stupid things and hurt you. When it blows up, way out of proportion, into a screaming match. You love me when I apologize profusely, even though most of the time you know it won’t change. When you know it will happen again. You love me when it takes me a long time to get over it, and when it takes you a long time to get over it.

You love me when I can’t keep my hands off you. When I’m high on you. When all I want is be next to you for the rest of forever.

You love me whether it is easy or hard. Whether I deserve it or not. All the time.

You love me. And I love you. Unconditionally.

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Life

Things I’m Determined To Do In My Twenties

Today is my 20th birthday and while excited for the years ahead with my amazing husband-to-be, friends, family and coworkers—I can’t help but realize how adventurous and exciting my teen years were. Shouldn’t my twenties be even more so? I mean… I started driving, traveled Europe, graduated high school, joined the Air Force, fell in love and got engaged, so now what? How do I top myself?

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QUIT GIVING A FLYING FUCK

Well… to be more specific, giving a flying fuck about the opinions that belong to those who don’t matter to me. I spent a lot of time in my teens pining over how much people did or didn’t like me. I’m a grown ass woman with my entire career ahead of me—why should I care what petty little girls (or guys, for that matter) have to say about me? That’s right, I shouldn’t. And neither should you!

BE MORE HONEST WITH MYSELF

I will cut back on smoking. I’m going to run more often. I am definitely going to stop eating so many Swiss Cake Rolls. You know what? Maybe some days I don’t feel like going to the gym. That day may also happen to be the day where I smoke like a chimney and inhale a Little Debbie chocolate coated ball of glory. OH WELL GRANNY PANTIES GET OVER IT. I’m a generally healthy person—being as my job requires me to be. But we’re young. We have to live a little!

MANAGE MY FINANCES MORE RESPONSIBLY

Getting married is obviously going to shake things up a bit. Jason and I will get promoted within about a year of being married, which is good. More money is always good. And we’ll be getting BAH which is also good because we won’t need to use all of it for rent, and will just have more cushion – financially speaking of course. But that doesn’t mean we can live above our means; I have a car payment, he has credit card bills, we both have cell phones and we’ll start to live like real grownups! I want to have a large chunk of savings if anything were to happen to either of us, and so we can plan for kids in the future! My parents were always superb at keeping their budget in check. I only hope we can be like that!

RAISE A DOG AS OUR OWN

I know I mentioned children, but that will be a few years before we decide to have one. How do I balance that feeling? PUPPIES of course! Our job deploys a lot and we both spend 7+ hours away from home per day, but I recently discovered Pointadors. They may just be one of the most adorable breeds of dog I’ve ever laid eyes on. Growing up in a big family, I never really had an animal that thought of me as mom. It’s just a good feeling, you know?

I’ll just leave this here…

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Lastly…

BE THE BEST WIFE EVER

Jason is the best thing to ever happen to me. He is everything I’m not, my better half. Nobody has ever shown me how to love the way that he does. I am so lucky to have him and want to spend the next decade (and many more after that!) showing him how much he means to me. I can’t wait to cook dinner for him every night or rub his back after a long day at work. Seeing that our wedding is only 34 days away, I don’t have much more time to figure out how to be awesome. Luckily, he thinks I already am.

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